Respect Yourself

“Not to take one’s own suffering seriously, to make light of it or even laugh at it, is considered good manners in our culture. This attitude is even called a virtue, and many people are proud of their lack of sensitivity toward their own fate and above all, their own childhood.” (From Banished Knowledge by Alice Miller.)

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2 thoughts on “Respect Yourself”

  1. It’s ironic, isn’t it? More often than not, I meet a survivor who also has an amazing sense of humor. I appreciate that, but I’ve also had to learn that what happend to me mattered–that I matter. When I used to dissociate a lot (particularly after a traumatic event or stressful situation), I’d repeat over and over in my head, “It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter.” Unfortunatley, I convinced myself for many years that it was ME who didn’t matter. We’ve got to stop this. Child abuse is no laughing matter. See, there’s that word again. If I don’t matter, then nothing else matters either. That’s no way to live. There ARE things that are deeply important in this world. Some things are worth fighting for (figuratively speaking) in this life.

  2. What an interesting subject. I think a good question is, why do people make light of their sufferings??? Aside from what is socialable or political correctness in our culture, in my opinion… I think it is a defensive mechanism.
    A way to lessen the hurt or even deny that this crap hurts. To express the hurts verbally to someone, might make you vulnerable to them. Being vulnerable is not something that survivors want to be, in my opinion Personally, I just hate telling my soulful hurts to anyone. Why??? hmmm I think I do not want to relive it and I don’t want people to know how I have been hurt or who hurt me. Something like that. If I can mask the pain, maybe it doesn’t hurt as bad afterall, or maybe I can make myself believe it did not happen at all. OOOh yes, I do understand about what matters. But… I feel helpless to doing something about past and future hurts.
    So I guess another question is, how can I prevent any future hurts for myself or anyone else??? I can’t stop what I do not know is coming. Yes… prevention of abuse does matter, and those who have suffered under it’s ugly hand matters, like wow…. out of this world important.
    Very good subject, it made me think about what can be done to help.
    MeMe

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