Things My Dad Used to Say

This will be a silly post because I’m taking a much needed break from packing, and I’ve written enough solemn stuff for a while. So here goes, a totally useless list of things my dad used to say (which pretty much no one will care about, but still I press onward.)

  1. “Better out than in your eye.” (This was said when someone passed gas. Yeah, I know.)

  2. “I better go do something, even if it’s wrong.”

  3. “You’ve got a letter in the mailbox.” (Today’s version would be, “You’ve got mail.” Dad grew up in Pittsburgh, and this was said whenever someone was spotted sporting a wedgie. Think about it; a wedgie does resemble a mail slot. Oh, never mind.)

  4. “Looks like a nice day, think I’ll leave it out all day.” (This was said, sad to say, in reference to a certain body part. Decades later when he heard Sinatra saying the same thing, he was greatly insulted that someone had stolen his line.)

  5. “If you keep crying, your eyeballs will get all wet and roll across the floor.” (This was said when I was little, to make me laugh when crying over a skinned knee, etc. It never failed to work.)

  6. “Artists have to be messy in order to be creative. That’s why my place looks like a pig sty.” (This was an insult to pigs everywhere.)

  7. “The beauty mark on your cheek is shaped like a comma because when your mom and I were creating you, we paused for a bit.”

  8. “God must have a sense of humor, lookit that guy over there!”
  9. “Hey, did I tell you about my latest bowel movement? My doctor says it’s just the right color!” (This was said—during my adult years—when I was about to take a bite of food. A variation would be, “Ooh, look at this piece of hair in my food!” He loved to do this to me, and to my aunt who, upon spotting hair on her plate, would have to go throw up.

Well there you have it. I’m sure there’s more, but no need to drone on and on. I would’ve listed 10 of Dad’s sayings, but my mind went blank. Besides, my packing is beckoning once more. Shoot, better get to it. If I don’t write again tonight, I’ll be back online in a week or two.


(I expect a noisy reception upon my re-entrance into cyber space!)





4 thoughts on “Things My Dad Used to Say”

  1. dad’s are good for stuff like that!! or grandpas. we all will be missing you as you make the move and get reestablished but we will keep you in our thoughts waiting for your triumphant return! We must warn you though, we have asked Austin if there is a limited number of coat tail hangers on for when you become rich and famous. If you are clueless as to what I am speaking of you need to visit Austin and her post from today!!

    take care and see you again soon

    john w and keepers

  2. Thanks John, for the warning. I believe I’ll just hop on over to see what ol’ Austin’s writing behind my back. Good thing I have a friend like you to blow the whistle on the likes of her. Thanks for ratting her out!

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